Making French Fry Burger Tacos (and Other Disgustingly Good Fodder)

Thursday November 02, 2017 Written by Suzi

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The only nice thing about Vulgar Chef is that the website spews forth on its implied promise: revolting recipes slopped up with big old dollops of cussing, insult and dirty humour. There’s the recipe for Spaghetti in Meat Bowls (spaghetti served inside a giant cup-like meatball), and another one called Five Burritos to Ruin your Shitty Summer Chisel Chest.

The French Fry Burger Taco is part of an inspired taco series which also includes ice cream cookie dough tacos, among others. This taco holds its shape so well because the french fries are glued together with melted cheese. It's the opposite of food porn, and it's all so awful-looking... only we can't quite bring ourselves to look away.

Vulgar Chef has a real knack for combining two or three edible elements and creating a compound of evil. Think: Dill Pickle Jelly (which he recommends eating on its own by the spoonful), bacon-wrapped scallop burger and Cheetos-Crusted, Pulled-Pork-Stuffed Mac-'n-Cheese Cake. If you feel like your arteries need a further work-out, and in case a regular poutine wasn't deadly enough, he's just raised the stakes to create the Poutine Doughnut. That would be a doughnut made from chopped fries mixed with a small amount of egg yolk, baked and topped with gravy and cheese curds. (And if you're on board with messing up your doughnut, he also has a Shepherd's Pie Doughnut recipe, complete with meat, peas and mashed potato, which he describes as "hands-down one of the most magnificent forms of American fusion since white rice and ketchup".) 

For those with a sweet tooth, Vulgar Chef offers up supersized delicacies like Giant Cookie with Smaller Cookies on Top (which he said he made in response to his partner's suggestion that he only eat one cookie, on account of his weight gain) and Cinnamon Toast Crunch Bacon Bars ("to satisfy your sweet tooth and meat cravings all at once"). 

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Vulgar Chef’s spirit of innovation isn’t immune to food trends though. As an alternative to squirting tomato ketchup all over his hot dogs and burgers, he invented Ketchup Caviar: tiny caviar-like balls of gelatinous tomato sauce which he says he was inspired to make “from watching molecular gastronomy videos”. 

You’ll be pleased to know that for the princely sum of $5 you can buy an e-book containing Vulgar Chef’s greatest hit recipes. It’s the kind of thing you’d buy as a Kris Kringle for someone you literally wished ill upon. 

Photography: Vulgarchef